the montra

Everybody who can should have a garden... it puts one in touch with the natural living world. Gardening is not a competition, but if it can be turned into one to help get a greater yield, then do it.

Friday, September 2, 2011

The Plot thickens...

Get it. The Plot of land... fills out.

Facts are facts... I need to lose the "Oh i have been emotionally diminished by unfair forces beyond my control and now i Just Don't Care anymore" Chump Robertson tripe and focus on the positive again. What do you have? And how can you make it better? I have some fucking carrots to get across the finish line... pluck them big ass broccoli leaves that are shading them. Get those damn tomatoes staked up and prune prune prune the blight away.

Other good news is that the beans are flowering and kicking into to another round of production. I'll give myself credit for savage watering that has sent the signals of bounty conditions to the plant's DNA to yes, kick into high gear after that period of inadequate care while i was away. You can always tell a human but you can't tell them anything.

A few days ago i was down on the garden... just not a good year... it was because i had it in my head how things were going to go down and when things went sideways i went over the handle bars and had a swearing fit... good times for sure.

We have Beans, Broccoli and a good tomato crop... there is some wild chard and some beets that look like they should be in a textbook with the heading "Examples of severe drought" And a paragraph about planting seeds at the wrong time... which perhaps might even make a finer point about if you are to plant at the wrong time then make sure you have full surveillance so that you can water regularly and even shade from scalding sun during extreme periods. Instead I plant and go on holiday leaving a human in charge... actually i left 4 of them in charge. A human needs to be inspired to do what needs to be done and i believe in most cases the word "inspired" has been modified to some consumer or pop culture timbit so that the idea of growing food properly is this weird fantasy that is like super cool but you don't really have the time to do it... and then you just shake your head and go into a dream sequence where you imagine the level of co-ordination required if we actually had to do that. i always go back to the Hive... the Bee hive... a model of efficiency... tasks are expected and any stepping out of line means automatic execution. We don't have time to hear you explain why you think you might be right... cause hell if you did it would be January and the hive would be out of honey and the colony would be freezing their ass off probably listening to the jackass bee who in August held up the hive with his fucking whiny ass tale about why he couldn't do 45 pollen runs in a day as expected in the Bee contract union handbook, and now when we are all dying of starvation we have to hear him complaining about his relationship with the Queen bee.

That would be silly... because of course the Queen Bee would be an honest leader and not sitting on a million tons of honey while the workers starved...

OK.

So as i was saying... you have too look at your garden, recognize what you have and bring it home.

Cultivate- to promote or improve the growth of (a plant, crop, etc.) by labor and attention.

Sometimes people think of cultivation as just working the soil... and it does mean that too. But seriously, now is the time for hard decisions... you have to decide what needs to be cut back so that room for others to thrive can be created. Is that Zucchini getting white mould and is it going to produce anymore? Perhaps it just needs to go as it is now a source of disease and is shading other crops. One has to start making calls... what has the best chance right now, and how do i make it's chances better.

Reminder... Build a serious shelter for those tomatoes. it's time to man up a make shift greenhouse... guide what you have home.

Of course I caught the old non English speaking Vietnamese lady ( a friend of the lady that has the plot next to mine) watering my Tomatoes at dusk again... I was trying to tell her to back the fuck off but from her actions i believe she understood that i was telling her to water the tomatoes more to yes, splash the blight around... i think i might have gotten through after a while, but i took a soaked foot in doing it. I need to calm down, I will go to Yoga and clear my mind. Have you ever heard of restorative Yoga? i hadn't either... I'm a kind of sun salutations guy, but in restorative Yoga you just go into gentle rest poses and try to relax... definitely not Man Yoga... and even worse if you happened to be stiff as a board due to anger related issues, alcoholism and general neglect then doing a slight twist leaning on a pillow isn't as relaxing as the sales pitch might make it seem... in fact i could only gulp small breaths while the rest of the class took long breaths counting to five on the inhale and five on the exhale... i could feet the tendon attached to the base of my skull going into spasm but i tried to man it up and breath through it... apparently you are suppose to relax and feel cleansing thoughts. I had an idea... i dig up that old coot's garden, grab the cement out of my garage and turn her garden into a concrete slab perhaps writing the words "water this you simple son of a ..."

I wouldn't do that of course... she means well. The Kook that lives in the apartment behind is another story and a booby trap is coming her way... she leaves a tray of rotting food by my garden every day. I think she might be feeding an imaginary monster as well as some very real rodents.

Apparently you can plant lettuce, spinach, radish's and various greens in September in the Pacific Northwest... I should plant some Radishes this week in the small space i have left... in fact since i have been back i seem to have cultivated the garden back to being a producing machine... need to leave room for garlic of course.

Keep your eye on the whole picture, see the garden thought the plants, and the plants through the garden. You are always at a fork in the road and whichever way you go do it completely, no regrets, never retreat, never apologize. Nature doesn't have emotions... the one who can take advantage of the conditions does the best.

Opps sorry starting to talk in terms of evolution... so to be a fair blog i guess we should present a creationist view of gardening... You don't need to plant anything, God will do it for you, in the meantime you should go to your toilet and put your head in the nice cool water in the bowl and give it a flush. Once you have given yourself a baptism swirly god will know to rain vegetables on you and all your problems will be solved so long as you always vote within you religious doctrine sticking to asinine beliefs and your bubble will be protected.

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