the montra

Everybody who can should have a garden... it puts one in touch with the natural living world. Gardening is not a competition, but if it can be turned into one to help get a greater yield, then do it.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

The new Man Garden

When it comes to Man Gardening one of the fine tasks is the initial preparation of the garden... the separation of the men from the boys. It's your biggest and most unique opportunity to affect your growing medium... you can go soft, or you can go hard, this is where you set your garden's potential... the culling of undesirable plants, the moving of stone and earth, the engineering one has to do while pacing and rolling their moustache ends around their index finger. Peering out the window, watching the sun, calculating what will happen in July, and then just plain getting in to it. Life is an amazing thing... you think you are seeing something but it's not until you get up close and start doing that you really see what is happening... the essence of gardening!

From the photo above you can see where the garden goes and the most obvious problem is the dubious infection of Ivy. Ivy is one nasty bastard, I believe it is called English Ivy and it is a non-native species that does very well... Ivy’s resilience and lush growth make killing it or removing it a difficult task, but difficult tasks is what man gardening is all about... to shy away from labour is a clear admission of failure... totally unacceptable! That said the roots are everywhere and if you think for a second that you got them all you are a simpleton fool with a small mind that would do well to vote Conservative. But that's not Man Gardening... we observe, take knowledge, process facts, and make decisions with respect to gaining the highest vegetable yield. The sun isn't going to rise and set where you want it to, it's going to do what it always does, Ivy will out compete peas and do nothing for the palate... not to mention supply far less Vitamin A, C and K and of course Folate... so the Ivy has to go, and it's up to the man to deliver the Ivy it's walking papers and he does that by digging the damn roots out! That was actually a rose bush (Oregon being the Wild Rose State) that was overrun by Ivy... so to get the Ivy roots out, lets just say the rose bush took a pretty bad hit. It might seem simple but rose bush roots entangled with Ivy Roots and a sawed down cedar tree root make for a gnarly mound of roots that needed to be removed. My wife saw what was left of the rose bush, and immediately identified me as a "savage plant murderer" oozing hate in my general direction, but I was busy sacrificing other species for the greater good to pay it much attention.


On this weekend I filled my own and 2 of my neighbours green bins full of ivy, lemongrass and their roots. Also seen here is a fence part blown into my yard by some natural hurricane that happened that week. Also there was the rock wall that needed to be taken down so that the garden area could be expanded to maximize crop yield... there was a delicate balance between leaving some yard for the children to play in, and some yard for them to learn how to grow food in.

I got 4 yards of triple mix soil, if I could do it again I would have gotten 6 or 7... for some reason I pulled back thinking that, yes I am a natural maniac who has historically overdone everything, and the "new me" will be different... I let it go. I will get more fresh soil next year... I will have a better idea of what happens after next year. Not to mention this fact: I went to a Yoga class last week and while everybody was in their postures breathing deeply, and I was cramped over trying to suck breaths into my fat collapsed diaphragm, the teacher said something prophetic... she said "when you are in your practice, don't be there criticizing what's wrong with your form, if you practice that, that is what you will become good at... criticizing yourself". I kind of have the market cornered on that one, so lets turn the page.
This is 4 yards of soil:

Soil going into the garden... with 2 photobombers Hailie and Emily:

And then Peter, my good neighbour got in on the action... a swell man who said "my doctor said I should get some exercise but the gym costs a lot of money so helping you actually saves me". With a beard like that you might even get a plaque in the "man garden".

After the soil got moved to the garden area I needed some help "stomping down the soil", so like my father before me I put my kids to work... actually my Father put his son to work while his daughter claimed to be too busy with various excuses... I have 3 daughters… equal treatment for all: I puzzled and waffled for a week before I put the rock wall back up... Should I make a staircase up to the garden? But that would create a pathway for the children to lead them for some "stomping... And as I was tinting my fingers thinking about what I was going to do a squirrel came along and buried a peanut in my garden, and then another, and then a rat went by with a peanut. Upon further investigation it appears my neighbour has squirrels living under her roof area of her porch and her answer to that is to feed them peanuts! Perhaps I mentioned that. Yes I did. OK so this is the garden with the soil minus the rock wall:


It takes a while before you accept somebody as a "squirrel enabler", a rodent sympathizer, but in the end all you can do is build your garden and defend it.