So i got a nice email from a fellow MAN gardener and he had this to say:
"trim the bottom leaves off you tomatoes, they get no sunlight, then wrap the stalk with a bit of bare copper wire. no more slugs. originally I was going to put a loop of cu, and a loop of al. poor mr slug would be a battery. ouch. but apparently mr slug won't cross the copper."
Clearly the man is insane, but who isn't around here... when the going gets fucked the fucked get going...
What i do like is the attitude... the man attitude... as the bible kind of insinuated "do unto others before they get a chance to unto to your tomatoes".
the other great thing about this is that he solved the problem... the slugs won't cross the copper wire, but he never would have thought of that... it came out of a need to damage the culprits. Now as a natural scientist i was wondering about things you discover trying to solve other problems. Our Man Andrew discovered that copper wire will keep the slugs at bay... (until they become really hungry perhaps.. time is the hunter on that dog)... but what if you did set up a current? What affect would that have on the tomato plant in terms of raw yield? We defiantly know that currents from electromagnet forces do have an impact on living beings.
I remember in university taking a course in vertebrates and we did an experiment where we stressed fish with currents... that was until "Seed Corn" a guy who's father was a chicken farmer... he was a king hell riot of a guy and a very dangerous person to be around in terms of freak accidents and other tomfoolery... anhyoo Seed Corn ate our fish on a bet and so when the lab instructor came over to our tank to check out our experiment, we had a bit of a "missing fish" dilemma that never really got properly explained.
What I'm getting at is that the right current could be beneficial to the plant's tomato yield by creating an unnatural tomato growth spurt inspired by the effects of the electrical current... i would guess that unnatural= bad, as things usually work that way, but remember bad can be good if it makes money... a uniquely human trait.
But Man gardening is about producing for yourself... about not going to the grocery store but rather to the garden. And our man Andrew is correct in the management of tomato leave plucking... a few of my friends are Italian and there are many stories of people spending a lot of time pinching off tomato leaves to keep the right balance in the plant.
Plants need space to thrive and sometimes they compete with themselves for that space and your job as a Man Gardner is to help the plant make those decisions. Food producing plants have been "selected" over the years of human cultivation ... actually a form of genetic modification, for traits other than learning to grow properly. it's all about the yield, or in Monsanto's case it's about the yield and the elimination of anything that stands in the way of total market domination... but their plants have a team of corporate lawyers happy to bankrupt any opposition who's position is completely logical and necessary in terms of the propagation of life...
getting a bit off topic... nothing quite like a Monsanto rage... Monsanto is a seed corporation that is one of the clearest representation of the devil on this planet.
I myself don't have a problem with slugs on my tomatoes, perhaps that is because i have much tasty lettuce nearby for the slugs to feast on and they leave my tomatoes alone. Our Man Andrew also mentioned that he is actually a balcony gardener so I'm thinking it might be a good idea next year to go with all new soil... or bake the soil he has in his oven to kill off any vagrant slugs... of course he is going to have to recommend that his neighbours who have garden balconies bake all of their soil as well and sometimes if these people are not MAN gardeners they might foolishly thing that baking their soil in small increments is a waste of time... i guess if copper wire works.
kind of fun to imagine the strata meeting where they tell everybody with a balcony that they need to bake their potting soil because the building is about to be wrapped in copper wire and the slugs will be no longer.
I remember running a garden, or a few of them in our last place and when i suggested a rain barrel to collect water for a portion of the garden that had no water access there was a pack of lunatics that were worried that the rain barrel would encourage mosquitoes to live... and that was around the time there was a malaria panic in the news... so that meeting came to an unfortunate conclusion... i was glad i wore my pyjamas to that meeting... sometimes a strata council president needs to make his point... don't worry they were a nice plaid pyjamas.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
It's all about the kids
I had the good fortune to lead a class of youngsters on a tour of the community garden. It happened that my oldest daughter's class was doing a study on on the concept of "Community", so i mentioned i could lead them on a tour of the community garden... i failed to mention that it would in fact be a lesson on MAN gardening. I had to fail to mention that otherwise the school commissioner would get all squirrely... if you know what i mean.
Perhaps the exam at the entrance of the garden was a bit too much for a pack of kindergarten, grade one and grade two students... but sometimes you have to just roll with the punches. In a number of ways i am against tests, exams and grades for the younger pupils in our society... I feel it puts unnecessary stress on the student to perform at a level that is completely irrelevant to their development at this time... but gardening is different than primary school... it is actually important! And the purpose of the exam was to inspire curiosity with respect to the ways of our food producing friends.
So what was the plan... a pack of kids in the garden = chaos.
Clearly we needed MAN wisdom so i gave a small lecture on spinach and how spring time is spinach time but summertime is coming so it is now bean time. I had talked to the teachers before hand and had them prepare Popsicle stick like items with the name of the child on it and in the end we have beans planted now in the spinach patch. The kids planted a bean seed and put a stick with their name on it next to the seed... i will photograph later for the record.
It's funny how kids are... they hear they get to plant a bean in a MAN garden and they just form a "task based" line all eager to plant their bean seed. I made sure that we had the bean seeds without the poison... some bean seeds are coated in a poison to keep other life from eating them... for sure one doesn't want to be involved in the poisoning of a bunch of primary school students on a mission that was meant to instill a love for gardening despite the exam and all.
Anyhoo, we got the beans planted, which was something i was meaning to do and the kids were very happy and our collateral damage was very minimal... i lost a corn plant a few lettuce and a a couple of sunflower plants but i got 30-40 beans planted so it's all good. and in the end the kids had a great time and they made me a book with drawings of their memories of their experience at the garden, and that's worth it's weight in gold any day.
for the record we did do a small lecture on bees... as we have a small collection of mason bees in the garden. pollination is everything.
Perhaps the exam at the entrance of the garden was a bit too much for a pack of kindergarten, grade one and grade two students... but sometimes you have to just roll with the punches. In a number of ways i am against tests, exams and grades for the younger pupils in our society... I feel it puts unnecessary stress on the student to perform at a level that is completely irrelevant to their development at this time... but gardening is different than primary school... it is actually important! And the purpose of the exam was to inspire curiosity with respect to the ways of our food producing friends.
So what was the plan... a pack of kids in the garden = chaos.
Clearly we needed MAN wisdom so i gave a small lecture on spinach and how spring time is spinach time but summertime is coming so it is now bean time. I had talked to the teachers before hand and had them prepare Popsicle stick like items with the name of the child on it and in the end we have beans planted now in the spinach patch. The kids planted a bean seed and put a stick with their name on it next to the seed... i will photograph later for the record.
It's funny how kids are... they hear they get to plant a bean in a MAN garden and they just form a "task based" line all eager to plant their bean seed. I made sure that we had the bean seeds without the poison... some bean seeds are coated in a poison to keep other life from eating them... for sure one doesn't want to be involved in the poisoning of a bunch of primary school students on a mission that was meant to instill a love for gardening despite the exam and all.
Anyhoo, we got the beans planted, which was something i was meaning to do and the kids were very happy and our collateral damage was very minimal... i lost a corn plant a few lettuce and a a couple of sunflower plants but i got 30-40 beans planted so it's all good. and in the end the kids had a great time and they made me a book with drawings of their memories of their experience at the garden, and that's worth it's weight in gold any day.
for the record we did do a small lecture on bees... as we have a small collection of mason bees in the garden. pollination is everything.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
can't go to sleep without a little bone Man Robertson Gardening wisdom
That's right... what was that idea i had...
Gardening is not a competition... but if it can be turned into one, then perhaps, one might be able to spur on greater yield.
What you have to remember with this line of logic is that if it becomes a competition that you don't resort to damaging other peoples plants in an effort to win by default. Think of yourself in in that lineup after a greatly contested hockey game shaking hands with your opponent... win or lose you thank them for playing hard and thus bringing out the best in yourselves as a team. In a game you need good opposition, but fair play is the kinship of sportsmanship. Does that even make sense? Jesus fucking christ i'm trying to write a serious blogaroo and my own lack of English understanding has gotten in the way of of a fine point.
When i was in University, one could say that my maturity level was not up to snuff, but we had some good times for sure. But the one rule in the house was that always the gold standard was to not to fuck with peoples beds. Perhaps you passed out in the living room and as a result you got your head shaved and a tube of a535 wiped on your groin but when you recovered from that, you had your bed that was guaranteed to be free from fuckery. That's the way men roll, most of life is lived to set up the next practical joke, and the other part of life is to relive those practical jokes.
But as a Man i have to say... don't fuck with peoples gardens... a garden represents life, and life is on it's way out of this planet... I don't make the rules i just call them like they are... you should never garden to be better but rather to bring out a side in yourself that strives for food production... or some other lesser purpose like the crazy kook woman flower garden.
When was in a band called "Roadbed", look it up if you dare, we used competition as a great producer... anything that gets you motivated to rule your domain is OK in the Man book. If one of the members wrote a song then the other would immediately think "fuck you you son of a bitch" and write another. Sometimes stubborn son of a bitches need an obvious motivator but never lose track of the big picture.
gardening tip of the day? Blueberries need acidic soil... think coffee grounds and pine needles.
OK
Gardening is not a competition... but if it can be turned into one, then perhaps, one might be able to spur on greater yield.
What you have to remember with this line of logic is that if it becomes a competition that you don't resort to damaging other peoples plants in an effort to win by default. Think of yourself in in that lineup after a greatly contested hockey game shaking hands with your opponent... win or lose you thank them for playing hard and thus bringing out the best in yourselves as a team. In a game you need good opposition, but fair play is the kinship of sportsmanship. Does that even make sense? Jesus fucking christ i'm trying to write a serious blogaroo and my own lack of English understanding has gotten in the way of of a fine point.
When i was in University, one could say that my maturity level was not up to snuff, but we had some good times for sure. But the one rule in the house was that always the gold standard was to not to fuck with peoples beds. Perhaps you passed out in the living room and as a result you got your head shaved and a tube of a535 wiped on your groin but when you recovered from that, you had your bed that was guaranteed to be free from fuckery. That's the way men roll, most of life is lived to set up the next practical joke, and the other part of life is to relive those practical jokes.
But as a Man i have to say... don't fuck with peoples gardens... a garden represents life, and life is on it's way out of this planet... I don't make the rules i just call them like they are... you should never garden to be better but rather to bring out a side in yourself that strives for food production... or some other lesser purpose like the crazy kook woman flower garden.
When was in a band called "Roadbed", look it up if you dare, we used competition as a great producer... anything that gets you motivated to rule your domain is OK in the Man book. If one of the members wrote a song then the other would immediately think "fuck you you son of a bitch" and write another. Sometimes stubborn son of a bitches need an obvious motivator but never lose track of the big picture.
gardening tip of the day? Blueberries need acidic soil... think coffee grounds and pine needles.
OK
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